Antelopes rarely suffer long-term damage if they escape the pursuit of a tiger. This may be due to a wild animal's ability to complete the body’s stress cycle, so they do not get stuck in a stress response.
Humans also experience intensely stressful events, though it may not be the pursuit of a predator. Sometimes we don’t complete the body’s stress cycle and get stuck in a stress response. This impacts both our physical and emotional health.
Let’s figure out what your “tigers” are and how to get out of the stress response.
Nervous System’s Design
A mammal's nervous system is designed to go into a fight-flight-freeze response in times of danger. The heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration rate increase to get more oxygen to the muscles and brain. Muscles tense to prepare for action, eyes dilate for better vision, and digestion slows down to focus on immediate survival.
These protective responses are automatic and provide the best chance for survival, but it is important to complete the cycle. Doing so allows you to release the stress hormones in the body, allowing the nervous system to return to a balanced state.
Trauma specialist Peter Levine explains that trauma happens when the body is “unable to complete a satisfactory fight, flight, or freeze response.”
A Polar Bear’s Response
Levine describes a situation where trackers pursued and tranquilized a polar bear. The bear ran in an attempt to get away before the medicine overpowered it. Once the bear was cared for and started to regain consciousness, it began to shake intensely. Its legs thrashed while it made biting movements over its shoulder. Then it began to gasp deeply and entered a freeze state.
The event had a clear beginning and an end. After the experience, the animal established a sense of safety. Its nervous system returned to a balanced state. It did not stay in a stress response and wasn’t plagued by thoughts of worry.
What is Your Tiger?
I doubt you will be chased by a tiger or tracker on the way home from work today, but other things can cause your body to sense danger. Trouble at work, tensions at home, difficult relationships, health concerns, and financial burdens are some of the difficult situations we may face. The problem with these “tigers” is that the pursuit may not have a clear beginning or end. We can get stuck in a stress response when we don’t complete the stress response cycle.
In acutely dangerous situations, people are often prevented from defending themselves or getting away from the danger. This can prevent survivors from completing the stress response cycle, resulting in trauma being trapped in the body. New therapies are beginning to address the impact emotional trauma and the body have on each other. They can allow survivors to complete the stress response cycle and alleviate some aspects of suffering.
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Cavemen never went to the gym, but they got plenty of exercise. Movement was incorporated into their lives because their survival depended on it. Hunting required fast, agile movements and endurance to outlast prey. Once secured, they had to carry it to the village and process it manually.
The human body is designed to run, lift, throw, and push things. Movements that functionally engage multiple muscle groups are more natural movements. Unfortunately, our modern society limits our need for this type of movement.
When we go to the gym to work out, we have access to machines that can be used for a "full-body" workout. However, many of these machines isolate muscle groups to strengthen them. Isolating specific muscles unnaturally may create imbalances that can cause pain and overuse injuries.
Our body is not intended to endure repetitive movements on workout equipment in a gym. Moving your body as a whole will provide a better, well-balanced workout that gives you better long-term results.
Let’s learn from cavemen and benefit from functional movement today.
How to Move More Like a Caveman
Years ago, a huge tree branch fell in my parents' yard. It's hard to see, but this is me lifting it over my head. It used all my muscles, making it a full-body functional movement. The following are some functional movements that will get you moving more naturally.
Upper Body
- Push - This can be as simple as push-ups if you are at home with no equipment. If you do have equipment, you can do a bench press, a band press, or my favorite at the gym is to use the cable pulley machine to do a pushing motion. If those sound too difficult, a wall push-up can be an easy place to start.
- Pull - If you are at the gym, you can use the seated row machine or the cable pulley machine to do an upper body pulling motion. Another option here would be to use a dumbbell or kettlebell for a bent-over row. At home, exercise bands can be a great option for doing a pulling motion.
- Overhead press - Here, use light dumbbells for an overhead press or a band (or my tried and true cable pulley machine with the pulley in the lowest position so the angle of my press is as upward as possible)
- Overhead pull - At the gym, you can use the lat pull-down machine, or you can use a pulley machine or pull a band with a downward motion. If you have a bar, this can be a pull-up. If you can't do a pull-up, you can use a band or chair to hold some of your weight.
Lower Body
- Squat (standing from seated) - This can be done as simply as standing up from a chair or bench (air squats), or with weight (using a bar on the shoulder for back squat, or dumbbells or kettlebells in hand)
- Deadlift (picking things up off the ground)- with a barbell, dumbbell, or kettlebell
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Our distant ancestors were in the sun to hunt and gather; their survival depended on it. These ancestors did not have air-conditioning or other modern comforts to draw them indoors.
Many of us could stay inside all day where the temperature is cooler. It sure is nice to have the option, but we might choose to be out more if it were hot and stuffy inside.
Modern-day research shows that being outdoors for extended periods has many physical and mental health benefits. Sunshine can make you feel lighter, move more, sleep better, and have more energy.
Let's talk about getting healthy sun exposure this summer.
Benefits & Risks
Healthy sun exposure may impact our longevity! One study found that sunshine could “reduce blood pressure, cut the risk of heart attack and stroke - and even prolong life.” The study noted that the benefits of sun exposure may outweigh the risks. This is because heart disease and strokes linked to high blood pressure cause about 80 times more deaths than those from skin cancer.
Even more compelling is that according to Dr. Ruscio, sun exposure leads to the formation of the active form of vitamin D, which improves DNA repair and may PROTECT the skin from cancer. Other studies suggest that sun exposure demonstrates a significant REDUCTION in all causes of mortality.
Guidelines for Exposure
It is crucial to understand the nuance involved here. I do not want you reading this and thinking you can start spending all day at the pool without the proper precautions. Chris Kresser suggests the following guidelines.
- Notice how long it takes for your skin to turn pink outside without sunscreen.
- Get out in the sun 2-3 times a week for half the time it takes for your skin to turn pink
- Use shade, light clothing, and a wide-brimmed hat if you will be outside longer.
- Remember that the time of day, latitude, and season impact the sun’s intensity (tropics vs. the Midwest).
- Establish a baseline tan in the spring or early summer.
- Use wisdom on vacation (consider the sun's intensity and if you have a baseline tan).
- Important Note: Babies under 6 months don’t have much melanin (opt for limited sun exposure in the morning and late afternoon rather than at noon).
Easy Ways to Get Sun
Getting sun can become a part of your daily routine; it doesn't need to take extra time or effort.
- Eat breakfast outside on the deck.
- Have a picnic for lunch or dinner.
- Move outside in nature rather than at the gym.
- Go to the park instead of the coffee shop with friends.
- Take calls outside (you can even walk while talking).
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Proper breathing is crucial to health and helps maintain spinal stability. Faulty respiration mechanics can lead to recurrent back pain, shoulder problems, poor coordination, and lower cardiovascular endurance. It can also play a major role in chronic fatigue, anxiety, and panic attacks.
Babies typically breathe with perfect form; their rib cages expand freely for deep breaths. Sitting in chairs, slumping forward at computers, or reclining while watching a show puts our spine and rib cage in unnatural positions that require us to find alternate ways to breathe.
Normal breathing involves letting the belly go outward with each inspiration. This goes against our society's push for a "flat stomach." It is impossible to breathe correctly when we hold our stomachs tight.
Let's check your breathing and see if some adjustments could be beneficial.
Check Your Breathing
Notice how your abdomen and rib cage move. Do this without trying to alter your normal breathing. Start by lying on your back, then try the steps sitting up, standing, and doing an exercise (like a side plank).
1. Place one hand over your abdomen/stomach, and another over your rib cage.
- Breathe in - your abdomen should expand outward.
- Breathe out - your abdomen should expand inward.
- Movement should start in the abdomen, not in the chest (even with a deep breath)
- Abdominal motion should be much more pronounced than rib/chest motion.
2. Now move one hand to each side of your body over your lower ribs and upper abdomen.
- The abdomen should expand all the way around through the entire cylinder, not just the front of the abdomen moving outward.
- As inspiration continues, the lower ribs should move outward in a horizontal plane.
- With your hands on your sides, the motion should seem equal on both sides
3. Notice if you are breathing in through your nose at an equal rhythm.
- Your heart rate should be fairly steady.
- You should breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
4. Brace your core like you are ready to be punched in the stomach.
- Can you still take a breath with the proper mechanics?
Learn to Breathe Better
Recognize what you need to change and practice until it becomes automatic.
Phase one...
- Relax the muscles in your neck and chest.
- Try to keep the chest still.
- Focus on exhaling and letting all of the air out while staying relaxed.
- Breathe with a low, slow, and steady rhythm to avoid deep breaths and sighs.
- Try to lengthen your exhalation to be twice as long as your inhalation.
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Our bodies are designed to go into a state of fight, flight, or freeze in times of crisis. However, once the threat has passed, we are supposed to transition out of it. Staying in an acute stress response for extended periods is detrimental.
A prolonged stress response negatively impacts the systems in your body. Inflammation, poor digestion, high blood pressure, and increased glucose levels may result, and your immune response will not be as effective.
Many of us need strategies to increase our capacity to handle chronic stress. We need to be intentional about doing things that help us unwind in a healthy way. Sometimes the thing we need to "do" is to simply be. Not just mindlessly scrolling on our phones, but consciously choosing to relax.
Let’s look at some stress management techniques that you can use to regulate your nervous system and stay balanced.
Grounding
Bringing awareness to the present by drawing your attention to your body and surroundings is helpful. Since most concerns are about the past or future, focusing on the present can give a sense of peace.
Grounding practices do not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as intentionally looking at your surroundings, noticing sensory input, or closing your eyes while you focus on your breath. You may also consider exploring some of the following structured grounding exercises.
Enjoyable Activities & People
Life-giving activities and social connections bring joy while reducing stress.
You might want to…
- Go for a walk
- Snuggle up with a book
- Take deep breaths of fresh air
- Listen to bird noises or other natural sounds
- Lie on the floor and stretch
- Play with a child or a pet
- Savor a small piece of dark chocolate
- Listen to music
- Sit in silence
- Make a cup of tea
Or connect with others…
- Get together with a friend
- Call your loved ones
- Use video calls to be face-to-face with those who live at a distance
- Text someone you’ve been thinking about
- Smile at those you walk by throughout your day
- Get to know your co-workers
- Join a club (sports team, book club, religious organization, etc.)
Practice Gratitude
We can cultivate gratitude by noticing what brings us contentment or joy. These feelings of gratitude activate the hypothalamus and flood the system with dopamine, which decreases the stress hormone cortisol.
You might feel grateful for…
- friends or family
- jobs that provide for your needs
- fresh air and time in nature
- items that bring you comfort
- opportunities for growth
- basic needs that are met
- safe areas to live
Our culture seems to thrive on stress, but our physical bodies do not. What techniques mentioned above could you try today?
Dr. Jamie
People-pleasing can take many forms, but key elements are putting other people’s needs, desires, and opinions above our own. You may feel like you have to agree with others, habitually volunteer, excessively apologize, or never ask for help.
According to therapist Erika Myers, when kindness to others involves “editing or altering words and behaviors for the sake of another person’s feelings or reactions,” it has crossed over into people-pleasing behavior.
It may seem benign, but this can be quite destructive. People-pleasing can make us live less authentically and fill our lives with other people's priorities. This is not good for us or our relationships with others.
Let’s evaluate the pitfalls of this practice so we can live our most authentic life.
Behind the Compulsion
It may be okay to put their people's needs before ours at times, but it is important to recognize why we are doing it. Fulfilling a request may feel like a compulsion for people-pleasers as if they have no choice. This might be rooted in a desire for love and acceptance. Other people want to avoid conflict at all costs. Some have just never learned to value and take care of themselves.
While pleasing others may seem easier, according to Myers, “the urge to please others can be damaging to ourselves and, potentially, to our relationships when we allow other people’s wants to have more importance than our own needs.” People-pleasing keeps the focus on what is important to others, causing us to lose sight of what is important to us. Even when we think about our priorities, our schedule may be too full to include them. Our resources are limited (time, energy, money, etc.). Saying "yes" to something means saying "no" to something else.
I realize there are seasons when this will be more possible than other times. If my baby is hungry, I can not ignore her to watch a show. However, I can recognize what I want and plan to do something for myself later.
How to Break Out of the People-Pleasing Cycle
Here are some things to help people-pleasers realign their lives to reflect their values and priorities.
- Know Thyself - Listen to your preferences and desires. It can be as small as thinking about what show you want to watch rather than just going with the flow. As you develop the habit of checking in with yourself, lean into what your gut is saying. At first, you don’t have to act on it, but over time, you will learn to trust that your desires matter.
- Communicate - When you recognize what you want in a situation, communicate it in a kind and clear manner. Ask for what you need, express your preferences, say “no”, or put a boundary in place. Done respectfully, these things allow the relationship to grow and you to show up more authentically.
- Give Yourself Time - When changing people-pleasing tendencies, you may need time to figure out how to respond. It is okay to say, “I’ll need to think about that” or “I’ll have to check my calendar.” Then, take some time to check in with yourself before replying.
- Don’t Explain Yourself Too Much - It is okay to say “no” to a request without giving a reason. You don’t need to justify your decision to others. A simple “Thanks for thinking of me, but I won’t be available this time” is all you need.
- Don’t Apologize - Reserve your apologies for when you are in the wrong. You don’t need to apologize for disappointing others with your boundaries, preferences, or opinions.
- Be Ready for Some Slack - Some people will respect you for this change, while others may push back. Notice the response and see what it tells you about the other person and your relationship.
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