Who do you turn to when life gets difficult? Think about the qualities that make you choose them in your time of need. Perhaps you don’t have that kind of friend. What would you need to see in a friend to be able to trust them in that manner?
The best thing about these friends is often your ability to be yourself without having to hide your failures or disappointment. They accept your experience as valid without judgment, showing kindness in every situation. In other words, they are compassionate.
So, let me ask you, are you that kind of friend to yourself? That’s right, most of us are more kind to others than we are to ourselves. We are patient and accepting of their struggles and failures while we beat ourselves up over ours.
Showing yourself the same level of care that you would show a good friend is called self-compassion. Let’s look at how that can make a difference in your life and find some practical ways to develop self-compassion.
What is Self-Compassion?
Author and associate professor, Kristen Neff, Ph.D. is recognized as one of the world’s most influential research psychologists. She explains that “having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others.”
Compassion literally means to “suffer with.” When we are compassionate we enter into someone’s suffering for a time. We don’t try to explain away the suffering, blame them for their suffering, or minimize it. We just let it be what it is, knowing that our compassion toward them will make a difference in their experience.
How Do You Treat Yourself?
Oftentimes, when we suffer we are not very kind to ourselves. We may try to push the feelings away, blame ourselves, or think our feelings are silly. Our experience is not one of acceptance and care.
Neff says that “self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.”
It involves treating yourself like a dear friend. How would you react to a friend in your situation? Would you berate them and tell them they were silly? Would you tell them to just get over it because it’s no big deal?
No, a good friend wouldn’t do any of those things, so don’t do it to yourself!
Components of Self-compassion
When we have self-compassion we give ourselves the care we would give to others. It involves…
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Children love to play outside - digging in the mud, picking wildflowers, walking barefoot, or simply lying in the grass. As we grow up we often lose this connection with the earth and the many benefits it provides.
Since many of us don’t connect with the earth as part of our daily lives, we may need to be intentional about it. The practice of grounding has gained popularity in the holistic wellness community; even attracting the attention of some researchers.
Let’s look at this ancient practice and think about how we can engage in it today!
What is Grounding
Grounding is an ancient practice of putting the body in direct contact with the earth’s soil or water. The practice is based on the belief that we can draw from the earth's energy by picking up the free electrons on the earth's surface. These electrons act as antioxidants, pairing with free radicals to neutralize them.
There is no right or wrong way to do it. As long as your body is in contact with the natural world through substances that conduct these electrons you are grounding.
How to Ground
Most people think that you have to be barefoot for grounding, but there are some things that are conductive and won’t block the electrons.
Leather, copper, natural fibers (in clothes or blankets), concrete, and even metal are conductive materials. The following are some ideas of grounding that are enjoyable.
- Swimming in a lake or ocean.
- Sitting in the grass or on a stone.
- Going on a picnic with natural fiber clothes and blankets.
- Walk barefoot along the beach.
- Play in the dirt or sand.
- Walk in the rain.
- Go barefoot to get the mail or walk around the block (if walking on concrete).
- Eat a meal on your patio without your shoes.
- Climb or hug a tree.
- Work in your garden.
- Do a grounding activity that you enjoyed as a child.
- Petting a dog if you have one.
Recently, I have made a habit of going for a barefoot walk around my yard each morning. Standing in the rain for a few seconds is also a favorite. I look forward to these routines each day. It’s so refreshing!
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We have been told for years that we need to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Then it became one ounce of water for every 2 lbs. of body weight. So, why don’t I drink plain water anymore?
Well, we need water, but we also need all sorts of minerals. Water filtering systems typically strip away most of these minerals. If you are drinking just plain water (especially if you have a lot of it), you can dilute the complex mineral-rich fluids in your body.
The fluids in your body aren't made up of straight H2O, so it doesn’t make sense for us to drink water without minerals in it. You need to stay hydrated, so what do you do instead?
Let’s look at why this is important and how to know if you are staying hydrated; then we can explore the best ways to hydrate your body.
The Benefits of Proper Hydration
Without water you starve every cell in your body, preventing them from working at their best. It is important for digestion, energy levels, blood volume, and your skin, but did you also know that it is important for your mind?
According to Dr. Hyman, “Water is so essential for our brains that a loss of just 1-2% can significantly impact our cognitive function, making it harder to focus, concentrate, make decisions, or even connect with others.”
Prioritizing your hydration will help your body and mind function more effectively. With these tricks you can get a handle on your body's hydration. But first, let's check to see what your body is telling you about your hydration.
How Do I know if I'm properly Hydrated?
There are a few signs you can look for in your urine to see if you are properly hydrated. Of course, there are many factors to consider (pregnancy, prostate size, etc.), but these are general rules of thumb.
- Color - the color of your urine should be not too light, but not too dark either. If you have super light almost clear pee, you are likely drinking way too much plain water.
- Frequency - once you start hydrating better you often actually need to use the bathroom much less. Four to five trips to the bathroom per day can be pretty standard.
- Timing - waking up at night to use the bathroom can be a sign that something with your hydration might be off.
Adrenal Cocktails
I started utilizing Adrenal Cocktails to help my body stay hydrated without diluting my minerals. These cocktails are mineral-rich drinks that focus on supporting sodium and potassium levels. It also contains Vitamin C which helps in the utilization of these vitamins and provides bio-available copper.
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There are three connections that I hope you cultivate in your life. Each of them clearly impacts your mental health, but you may be surprised to learn that they impact your physical health as well.
Connecting with others, connecting with yourself, and connecting with nature will increase your enjoyment of life. Once you see how they make you feel, you may choose to commit to them throughout your life.
It doesn’t have to take a lot of time, but it will take some intention. Encouraging the people you love most to commit to making these connections will help all of you reap the benefits.
Connecting with Others
There are many things people know they must do if they want to be healthy: eat well, get adequate movement, refrain from smoking, and limit alcohol. But now we can add “enjoying social connections” to our list of healthy habits!
Author and researcher Brene Brown defines connection “as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
The American Association for the Advancement of Science published a study that found “a lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking, and high blood pressure.” It is linked to obesity levels, inflammation, and hypertension. But positive connections improve your immune system and lead to a 50% increased chance of longevity.
Ways to increase your chance for good connections...
- Make time for important people in your life.
- Invite friends to hang out with you on your patio.
- Go for a walk with a loved one.
- Show your affection through physical touch.
- Make room for laughter.
- Call a family member.
- Text an old friend.
- Go to the pool with someone fun.
- Do a favorite activity together (bowling, shopping, golfing, an escape room, etc.)
- Join a book club or sports team (pickleball, softball, volleyball, etc.)
- Be intentional about connecting around the dinner table a few times a week.
- Hang out in the evening with those you live with.
- Put your cell phone away when you are connecting with others in person. (Research has found that the presence of a cell phone interferes with connection.)
Connecting with Yourself
It is extremely powerful to connect with yourself. Part of this is slowing down enough to notice what is going on internally.
When you slow down, you may feel happiness, peace, excitement, or other more difficult emotions. It is important to accept these emotions without judgment or an attempt to change them.
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Do you ever find something on social media that you just have to share? It might be a funny meme, sentimental story, or information that reminds you of someone specific.
Well, a couple of months ago I discovered “Functional Patterns” on Instagram and was immediately intrigued. The leaders of this movement believed many of the same things I do about sleep, nutrition, nature, sun exposure, etc.
As I looked into their perspective on movement, I knew I had to learn more. Everything they said made so much sense. I couldn't stop looking at before and after videos of pictures of different people on their page. I signed up for their 10-week online program and began to work with a trainer. I have already begun to see changes in the way my body feels and moves.
Sharing this program on social media just isn’t enough. I want all of my contacts to hear about it. Let me share a little about it today and encourage you to check it out for yourself.
What is Functional Patterns?
The framework of Functional Patterns was established by Naudi Aguilar in 2009. It is based on the premise that every living animal evolved to have specific patterns of movement.
Fish use their muscles in a side-to-side manner as they glide through the water. A bird's wings move up and down to soar through the air. Each species has very different movement patterns that evolution has given them.
As humans, our main movement patterns are standing, walking, running, and throwing. These motions are at the core of how we move as humans and are crucial for our survival. Through functional pattern exercises our body learns to do these basic movements properly.
How is it Different?
Functional Patterns focuses on the body working as a system. It realizes that strengthening specific muscles outside of full movement exercises can lead to imbalances in the body which can cause harm. It uses human's main movement patterns because if you learn how to execute them it will impact every movement you do.
It begins with myofascial release, causing your body to hydrate the muscles and lose excess tension. Next full-body movements begin to strengthen and stretch muscles in a balanced way. You will quickly begin to notice less pain, more agility, better posture, and a leaner physique.
For me, when I go to a training session with my trainer Tyler, it is not only a physical workout but a mental workout. I am slowly learning to reprogram the way my body moves- my bad movement habits if you will, in order to form better habits that will eventually decompress and balance my spine, rib cage, and frame.
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Summer’s here and the kids are (almost) out of school. You may be planning time for outdoor adventures, parks, picnics, and the pool. Many people try to get away over the summer for at least a couple of days and hope to come home feeling refreshed.
While summer can be the highlight of a kid's year, it can be challenging for parents. Kids can get restless and begin to whine about being bored. In spite of the sunshine, you may start to count down the days until school begins again.
There are some ways we can let go as parents to set our kids up for a great summer. It may feel counterintuitive, but there’s value in giving our kids more unstructured time where we don’t feel the need to entertain them.
Let’s look at this to see how it might look for your family.
Include Time for Unstructured Play
Many of us spent nearly our entire summer outside playing with friends in the neighborhood. We were responsible for our own fun for hours and hours. But over the course of the last two decades, kids in the US have lost 9-12 hours of free play each week.
Often, parents wanting the very best for their children sign them up for tons of activities. While some structured activities can be great for kids, there are many benefits of independent free play. Through it, kids have the opportunity to…
- negotiate and cooperate with others.
- explore their own interests.
- develop creativity.
- explore personal interests.
- practice independence and decision-making.
- move their body in a more functional way.
Part of the magic of summer happens when we give the kids time to play without direction from adults. There is so much they learn through self-directed play that they would not learn otherwise.
Pursuing Interests and Passions
The summer is a great time for kids to explore their passions through classes, but just giving them time with the proper tools is extremely valuable too.
When children have time to explore their passions on their own they are able to…
- pursue individual interests and passions at a deeper level.
- immerse themselves in the aspects of the hobby that they are most interested in.
- move at their own pace.
- seek to understand the subject on their own, rather than being told what to think.
Try to guide them through any problem or frustration that occurs rather than solving it for them. Show them that you are confident that they can handle most things with a little bit of guidance and encouragement.
Use Screens Wisely
Children often have a way to wear their caregivers down even when limits to screen time are put in place. While there are some benefits to limited screen time, a majority of their time is best used engaging in other activities.
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