Parents love watching their babies discover the world and meet new milestones. Everyone is excited when the baby rolls over, crawls, or walks for the first time. It is great to celebrate these achievements, but it is important to allow your baby to develop at their own pace without interference.
Our society tends to push babies to develop faster than what is natural. When caregivers try to help babies reach their milestones by putting them in positions they are not ready for, it can interfere with their natural development.
Babies develop better movement patterns when allowed to move naturally at their own pace. Developing movement in the proper sequence helps them learn to move more efficiently. This sets them up for a lifetime of healthy movement patterns.
Let’s look at a baby’s natural development and ways we tend to undermine it.
Natural Development
Lindsay Mumma DC says, “Children need to get a sense of how their bodies function in a gravity environment. This helps them coordinate and activate muscles in the proper sequence to initiate complex movements.”
While they need plenty of time in their caregivers' arms, they also need time to explore movement. Having a safe place to move independently will help them learn to move most efficiently. Babies don't learn to move properly if we interfere with this process.
When we try to rush them, they miss important steps in the sequence Mumma is talking about. As their muscles develop they will be ready for more advanced movements. We can not do this for the baby, it simply takes time! Of course, there will be times when a baby does not progress as expected and may need a professional to guide their care.
Interfering
It is so normal in our society to interfere with a baby's natural movement that parents rarely think about them. Many parents try to teach their children how to roll over, sit up, or walk. This interferes with their development. Allowing them to learn independently strengthens the muscles needed and provides a solid foundation for movement. This creates healthy patterns of movement that will stay with the child throughout their lives.
Propping them up on the couch sure looks cute, but if they cannot get in the position alone, they are not ready to be in it. Even the common baby devices that put them in positions they are not ready for set them up for restricted or unnatural movement. A good thing to know is that putting a baby in a position it can’t achieve or maintain on its own, places undue stress on the baby’s musculoskeletal system.
Maybe it's time to reevaluate some of the equipment our society thinks is normal.
- Bumbo seats - they aren’t ready to be in this position for long until they are sitting up independently.
- Swings - being strapped into a reclined position prevents the natural movements needed to develop the infant's core strength.
- Exosaucers - these tend to put the baby in a bad position for their posture and interfere with their development of balance. It also encourages babies to lock their knees and stand on their tiptoes which is less than ideal.
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People pleasing involves putting other people’s needs, desires, and opinions above your own. This may look like agreeing with others even when you have a different opinion, constantly volunteering for things, or excessively apologizing.
While it’s okay to put others' needs before yours at times, if you feel you don't have a choice there may be a problem. Checking in with yourself to see your motivations can help you determine if you struggle with people pleasing.
Recognizing that you are a people pleaser and wanting to change are important first steps, but it can be hard to show up differently. Many people are unsure of what they think and feel, so they just go along with others. Some people know what they want but have not learned to say "No" without feeling guilty.
Let's look at some things that will help you break the people-pleasing cycle.
Know Thyself
To break out of people-pleasing patterns, it is important to know yourself. Are you trying to avoid conflict, win love, or gain acceptance? People-pleasing tendencies may make others happy for a while, but they will not help you build authentic relationships. Deep relationships involve knowing the other person's true thoughts and feelings.
Figuring out what you want is crucial to stop being compelled to please others. It can be as small as thinking about what show you want to watch rather than just going with the flow. Develop the habit of checking in with yourself. At first, you don’t have to act on it, but over time you can come to believe that your desires matter.
Your body can help you notice feelings that may have been overlooked for too long. Is there tightness in your body from stress? Do you feel a sense of lightness when you are peaceful or happy? Recognize your thoughts and emotions without judgment; pay attention to their intensity. This valuable information can help you recognize things that matter to you.
Everyone will do this differently, but here are some ways to connect with your inner world...
- go for a relaxing walk.
- try meditation.
- read a book and contemplate your reaction.
- take some time to journal.
- go to a coffee shop by yourself (Kindred in West Chicago is my favorite).
- do a guided self-compassion meditation with Kristen Neff.
- practice box breathing (also known as Four Square breathing).
- use art as a tool for self-connection. (You don’t have to be an artist, even an adult coloring book can help with reflection.)
- experiment with the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise.
- work with a therapist to get in touch with your internal world.
Communicate
When you recognize what you want in a situation, communicate it in a kind and clear manner. This can deepen the relationship because you are showing up in a more genuine way. However, these changes will not please everyone; some may fight to keep you in your please-pleaser role. Notice the response, and see what it tells you about the other person and your relationship. Don't let it stop you from...
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In our culture, being tired can seem like a badge of honor. Being sleep-deprived implies you have important things to do. If you say you feel great and are well-rested, you may be greeted with a statement like "It must be nice."
However, sleep is essential for the basic repair of systems of the body. This includes the neurological, endocrine, immune, musculoskeletal, and digestive systems. Without adequate sleep, you cannot be healthy.
Let's shift our perspective on sleep and realize it is an important task we need to prioritize every day.
Make Sleep a Priority
Take a minute to ask yourself if you believe that sleep is important. You may know it is good for your health, but do you personally value it? If we are truthful with ourselves, we may find that we do not think it is important enough to put ahead of other priorities.
In one study, researchers put a group of people in a stimulus-free room with no clock for 14-24 hours daily. Subjects didn’t know when they went to bed or woke up. Participants slept an average of 12-20 hours the first couple of nights. Over a few days, the participants' sleep began to average approximately 8 hours a night.
Many subjects seemed to be catching up from chronic under-sleeping. How long do you think you would have slept? You can do a little experiment to determine how much sleep your body needs by testing your reaction time. Here’s how...
- each morning at the same time after waking up, take the reaction time test here https://www.humanbenchmark.com/tests/reactiontime.
- make a note of your score each day.
- try moving your bedtime up by 30 minutes on the fourth day. Continue with that amount of sleep for 3 days, checking your reaction time each morning.
- notice if your score is significantly different with more sleep. Pay attention to how you feel throughout the day. How is your energy level? Is your mental functioning better?
- after a few days, try moving your bedtime up another 30 minutes. Pay attention to your reaction times and how you feel.
- repeat the steps in this experiment again until you find a bedtime that seems ideal for you.
Control Your Exposure to Light
Our ancestors generally slept when it got dark and woke up when the sun came out. Now we are constantly exposed to artificial light which can disrupt our circadian rhythm and melatonin levels. We can address this by...
- avoiding screens two hours before bed (computers, smartphones, television, etc.).
- using blue light-blocking glasses.
- installing blackout shades to ensure pure darkness in your bedroom at night.
- turning off digital devices that give off light (cover your alarm clock).
- wearing a sleep mask.
- getting natural morning light.
Get Adequate Movement
Moving your body throughout the day is another important aspect of getting adequate sleep. It doesn't have to be strenuous; even gentle movement has been shown to improve sleep. Here are ways to incorporate movement into your daily life.
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Our ancestor's survival depended on the ability to move their bodies. They moved to secure food, shelter, and safety. There was no need to go to a gym because movement was incorporated into their daily life.
Hunting required fast agile movements and endurance to outlast prey. Once secured, they had to carry it to the village. Without indoor plumbing, they had to bring water to the village too.
Today we see how naturally children incorporate movement into their daily lives. They play at the park, run down the sidewalk, wiggle in their seats, spin in circles, and tip upside down.
Unstructured movement is good for their growing bodies. In fact, we would benefit if we reclaimed some of this natural movement ourselves.
Let’s learn from our ancestors and children how to include natural movement in our lives today.
Natural Movement
There was a purpose to our ancestors' movement. They were not doing repetitive movements to strengthen individual muscles; they were running, lifting, throwing, and pushing things. These movements are what the human body is designed to do.
Movements that functionally engage multiple muscle groups are more natural movements. Isolating specific muscle groups may create imbalances that can cause pain over time. We see this with overuse injuries in young athletes if they are not guided to strengthen and stretch multiple muscle groups.
Practical Ideas
Movement doesn't have to be strenuous. It could be as simple as walking to the water fountain, standing up for a phone call, or stretching in your seat. It is easy to incorporate it into your daily life if you are intentional about it
- park at the far end of the parking lot
- walk when you meet with a friend or take a call
- walk barefoot outside to engage your muscles in different ways (especially on an incline)
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take the stairs instead of the elevator
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carry your child instead of using a stroller
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shop with a basket instead of a shopping cart
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play with your kids when they are running in the yard
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sit on the floor instead of reclining on a couch
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dance to music around your house
Remember the Fun
Let’s change our mindset around movement. It's not just what we do in the gym and does not need to be strenuous to be beneficial. Rediscover the joy that can be found in movement by thinking about what you did as a kid. Did you like gymnastics? Maybe you can't do the flips anymore, but could you roll down a hill? Perhaps your balance beam days are over; where else could you practice your agility? If you enjoyed playing sports when you were young, a local club or class at the
Warrenville Park District might interest you.
Let me know how you include fun functional movement in your day when you come in for your next appointment. And, if you need help coming up with ways to do this we can brainstorm together.
Take a moment to think about one of the special moments that brought you joy this summer. Were you able to be fully in the moment, or did worrisome thoughts pop into your mind? Researcher and author Brene Brown calls it “foreboding joy” when heavy thoughts crowd our joy.
While you would think special times would bring pure happiness, Brown explains that it can also lead to negative thoughts. She says that you may experience a sense of dread that something bad will happen to interrupt the goodness.
It is a way to protect yourself from hurting so much if a tragedy strikes. It happens subconsciously, so we do not understand why we feel uneasy at a time when we think we should feel joy.
Let’s look at the issue of foreboding joy so we can embrace the happy times more fully.
A Tender Emotion
Joy is a vulnerable emotion. It opens your heart and makes you realize what is precious to you. This knowledge reminds you of what you have to lose. Fear of tragedy may flood your thoughts and you may think of the worst-case scenario. Brown calls this “rehearsing tragedy.”
She explains that we do this to dull the joy we feel so that it will prevent how much a tragedy would hurt. The subconscious thought is that you won’t feel pain as intensely if you don't feel joy. However, this “emotional armor” does not prevent pain, it just robs you of joy.
What to Do
According to Brown, practicing gratitude is a great alternative to bracing yourself for disaster. So, when you feel something beautiful, lean into it. Think about how grateful you are to know the person or have the experience.
Brown says that “there is no joy without gratitude.” Her research taught her about the importance of establishing a gratitude practice. She expected to find that joy led to gratitude, but discovered it was the other way around.
Developing a Gratitude Practice
A practice of gratitude is developing habits that help you focus on things you are thankful for. You get more benefit from focusing on small things you are really thankful for than from pretending you are grateful for larger things you feel you should be thankful for.
- Meditate on things you are grateful for each morning for 5 minutes.
- Help someone who doesn’t have the advantages you do.
- Find something to look forward to each week.
- Think about someone who has influenced your life and write them a letter.
- Pray to express thankfulness for the good things in your life.
- Choose one word that makes you feel gratitude (hope, life, family, friends, health, etc.). Write the word down and think about it throughout the day.
- Listen to a song you enjoy and take time to appreciate it.
- Practice mindful eating to appreciate the gift of food.
- Create a gratitude journal.
- For more ideas check out 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.
If you start to feel like you are doing your gratitude practice to check it off your to-do list, it may be time to switch up your gratitude practice.
We know things will not stay the same; what we enjoy may not last forever. However, there’s no need to feel the loss ahead of time. Embrace the moment and risk feeling joy.
Dr. Jamie
*Photo credit: Becci Hethcoat Photography
Good hydration dramatically impacts your health, energy, performance, and emotional well-being. It seems like it should be easy to drink eight glasses of water a day, but many of us struggle to meet the goal.
Life gets busy, and the water bottle on the desk is forgotten. Only 22 percent of adults in the US get the recommended amount of water. So, what if I told you there was an easier way to stay hydrated than drinking eight glasses of water?
In their book Quench, authors Cohen and Bria describe a “newly identified phase of water that’s not quite liquid, vapor, or ice. (It is) identified by an extra hydrogen and oxygen atom, so the molecular structure is H3O2.” They call this substance gel water, and it is found in nature so there are no special products to buy.
Let's look at why hydration is so important and consider if gel water could allow us to work smarter instead of harder.
Health Impact
Few things as simple as hydration have such a profound impact on your health. Without water you starve every cell in your body, preventing them from working at their best. It is important for digestion, energy levels, blood volume, skin, and mind. Dr. Hyman explains, “Water is so essential for our brains that a loss of just 1-2% can significantly impact our cognitive function, making it harder to focus, concentrate, make decisions, or even connect with others.” Proper hydration impacts the following areas.
- Immune system - hydration boosts your immune system and can help prevent infections.
- Nutrients to cells - water helps deliver these vitamins and minerals throughout your body.
- Kidney & liver function - staying hydrated is vital in eliminating waste from your cells. This is crucial for the health of your kidneys and liver.
- Weight regulation - water boosts metabolism, increases satiation, and raises sympathetic nervous system activity.
- Brain function - adequate hydration increases sleep quality, improves mood and sharpens attention, memory, cognition, and ability to concentrate.
- Joints & skin - having enough water in your system keeps joints lubricated and skin supple.
- Negative symptoms - staying hydrated can help prevent headaches, irregular periods, and constipation. It helps regulate acid levels in the bloodstream and lowers your risk of anemia and heart attacks.
Gel Water
Gina Bria, an anthropologist studying how desert cultures survived with very little water, found out that her mother was suffering from chronic dehydration. Bria knew the Tarahumara people of Mexico used chia seeds to aid in hydration, so she instructed her mother's caregiver to add ground chia seeds to her mom’s morning orange juice. It did the trick and her mother stopped struggling with hydration.
Gel water is found in fruits, vegetables, & seeds (like chia seeds). Dr. Stacy Sims, a nutrition scientist at the University of Waikato in New Zealand and author of Roar, explains that plain water has a lower concentration of particles like glucose and sodium. As a result, it does not stay in our bodies as long as gel water, so it is not as effective for hydration. While ancient cultures didn’t know the chemistry behind this type of hydration, they used gel water to sustain themselves when water was scarce.
Hydration Tips
Small habits can make a huge difference in your hydration. Pick one to try today, then build on it over time.
- Start your day with gel water by adding citrus fruit to your water (lemon, lime, grapefruit, etc.).
- Eat lots of fruits and vegetables that are full of gel water, contain electrolytes, and are high in fiber which helps the body absorb gel water.
- Drink and cook with bone broth. It is full of both collagen and gel water.
- Mix a teaspoon of crushed chia seeds to smoothies and other drinks.
- Cook with coconut and ghee. Both are full of gel water and electrolytes.
- Add 1/16 teaspoon of table salt to every eight ounces of regular water. This slows its absorption allowing it to stay in your body longer.
We can all use more energy and focus to get through the day. Prioritizing hydration will help your body and mind function more effectively. With these new tricks, you can get a handle on your body's hydration.
Dr. Jamie