Summer’s here and the kids are (almost) out of school. You may be planning time for outdoor adventures, parks, picnics, and the pool. Many people try to get away over the summer for at least a couple of days and hope to come home feeling refreshed.
While summer can be the highlight of a kid's year, it can be challenging for parents. Kids can get restless and begin to whine about being bored. In spite of the sunshine, you may start to count down the days until school begins again.
There are some ways we can let go as parents to set our kids up for a great summer. It may feel counterintuitive, but there’s value in giving our kids more unstructured time where we don’t feel the need to entertain them.
Let’s look at this to see how it might look for your family.
Include Time for Unstructured Play
Many of us spent nearly our entire summer outside playing with friends in the neighborhood. We were responsible for our own fun for hours and hours. But over the course of the last two decades, kids in the US have lost 9-12 hours of free play each week.
Often, parents wanting the very best for their children sign them up for tons of activities. While some structured activities can be great for kids, there are many benefits of independent free play. Through it, kids have the opportunity to…
- negotiate and cooperate with others.
- explore their own interests.
- develop creativity.
- explore personal interests.
- practice independence and decision-making.
- move their body in a more functional way.
Part of the magic of summer happens when we give the kids time to play without direction from adults. There is so much they learn through self-directed play that they would not learn otherwise.
Pursuing Interests and Passions
The summer is a great time for kids to explore their passions through classes, but just giving them time with the proper tools is extremely valuable too.
When children have time to explore their passions on their own they are able to…
- pursue individual interests and passions at a deeper level.
- immerse themselves in the aspects of the hobby that they are most interested in.
- move at their own pace.
- seek to understand the subject on their own, rather than being told what to think.
Try to guide them through any problem or frustration that occurs rather than solving it for them. Show them that you are confident that they can handle most things with a little bit of guidance and encouragement.
Use Screens Wisely
Children often have a way to wear their caregivers down even when limits to screen time are put in place. While there are some benefits to limited screen time, a majority of their time is best used engaging in other activities.
Too much screen time can lead to eye strain, sleep issues, poor posture, weak muscles, obesity, behavior problems, impatience, difficulty making friends, and academic difficulties.
It is typically recommended that screen time is determined by the child's age. Below are some general guidelines (for more information check out this article.)
- babies and toddlers (no screen time at all)
- 3-5 year olds (one hour or less)
- 6+ (two hours or less)
If you feel like screens are getting out of hand in your house, it can be helpful to disconnect from screens completely for a period of time. It's a type of detox that allows you to reset your family’s screen time habits. You can use this time to spend with people you love or to explore other interests.
I hope these ideas can help set you up for a great summer!
Dr. Jamie
I try to convince all of my patients to eat mostly "real food." Nutrient-dense unprocessed foods like vegetables, fruits, meats, and fish will help you feel your best.
This week, a patient told me that her biggest obstacle to eating real food was that her husband kept bringing home unhealthy food and snacks. When she asked him if he'd change his shopping habits he said, “Can't you just have better willpower?”
Having the willpower to not eat processed foods is INCREDIBLY HARD if not impossible. As humans, we are designed for survival. In the past, eating lots of high-calorie food actually helped our ancestors survive.
Let’s explore this design and how it influences our willpower today.
Our Ancestors
Food used to be scarce. When our hunter/gatherer ancestors were around, it was difficult to find or kill enough calories at times. When they did, they ate! They were not going to let food go to waste. If they had access to fresh honey or ripe berries, I'm sure that they had their fill.
They didn’t need any “willpower” because it was in their best interest to eat as much as they could. After all, it could be a while before they had access to food again. Unfortunately, this survival instinct hasn’t changed, but our environment has.
Today
For many of us, food is no longer scarce. Fatty, sweet, salty, decadent snacks abound. Most of the time these snacks are highly processed and not healthy. Nowadays we even have food scientists specifically working to make these foods addicting.
And yet, we BEAT OURSELVES UP for not having the willpower to avoid these snacks. We ask ourselves, "What's wrong with me that I can't avoid sweets, chips, or soda?"
Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. Generation after generation, you were wired to WANT to eat calorie-dense food when it was available. It was crucial for your survival.
Can you imagine if our ancestors had access to the snacks we have today? They would eat all the snacks too! As humans, we are wired to do just that.
Making a Plan
Once we understand this survival drive, we can stop beating ourselves up and make a plan that will better set us up for success. Here are some things to try as you strive to make healthy decisions.
- Think about what foods you WANT to eat to feel your best. These are the foods to keep in your house and other environments that you spend time in. Your willpower will only last so long, so make the foods you don't want to put in your body harder to access by leaving them at the store. (Note: Make this plan when you are not hungry, sad, mad, tired, etc.)
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I am going to go ahead and just start this one off with a big old controversial statement...from my research, PROPER sun exposure (which means spending time in the sun without burning the skin) does NOT lead to skin cancer, and in fact, PROMOTES HEALTH when it's done right! Keep reading the article for more of my thoughts on the matter!
Learning from our Ancestors
In general, current generations spend less time outside in the sunshine than previous generations. The comfort of an air-conditioned home and other modern technology draws many people inside in warm weather preventing their exposure to the sun.
While there are some precautions that are wise to take, the lack of sunshine is one factor that contributes to the decline of health in modern civilizations. In fact, too little sun exposure may be even worse than too much.
Our ancestors long ago were outside in the sun hunting, gathering, and living in the community. Their survival depended on being out in the elements. They didn’t have temperature-controlled homes, so being outside was common.
Though our ancestors did this out of necessity, modern-day research shows many benefits to this way of living for both our physical and mental health. It is especially important to be intentional about this in northern areas.
Let’s look at the importance of sun exposure and the popular myths surrounding it.
Benefits of Sunshine
Sunshine can make you feel lighter, move more, sleep better, and have more energy. It tends to chase away the winter blues, giving us a fresh perspective on life. But did you know there are many long-term benefits that can actually affect our longevity?
One study found that sunshine could “reduce blood pressure, cut the risk of heart attack and stroke - and even prolong life.” It states that since heart disease and strokes linked to high blood pressure cause about 80 times more deaths than those from skin cancer, the benefits may outweigh the risks.
But, we may not even have to worry as much about cancer as traditionally thought. According to Dr. Ruscio, sun exposure leads to the formation of the active form of vitamin D (1, 25-OH) which also improves DNA repair and may PROTECT the skin from cancer (as opposed to causing skin cancer like most people think).
Other studies suggest that sun exposure demonstrates a significant REDUCTION in all causes of mortality. With this in mind, we must question the belief that sun exposure is dangerous.
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Want to know my top trick for EASY meal planning and grocery shopping??
It's an App called Mealime!
Mealime is a free meal-planning app that makes meal planning and grocery shopping a snap. It helps me avoid the 5 o’clock “what’s for dinner” problem, relieving me of this mental load and letting me enjoy my family instead.
I’m sure you’ve been there; it’s time for dinner but you have no idea what to make. With everyone hungry takeout or a quick processed meal may sound like a good option.
While eating out can be a fun experience every once in a while, doing so because it is the easiest option doesn’t always leave you feeling good about it. This habit can also be expensive and may prevent you from feeling free to eat out when you really want to.
Even though meal planning makes my day so much easier, it can be hard to stay on top of it each week. That is why I love the Mealime Meal Plans and Recipes app. Let’s take a look at this app to see how it can free you from dinner-time stress.
What is Mealime
The Mealime app provides easy-to-cook recipes. You simply input the number of servings you’d like to make (2, 4, or 6) and choose the recipes you want in your meal plan from their list of possibilities. Then Mealime…
- complies a grocery list for you to shop from.
- separates the list into categories such as produce, meat, spices, etc.
- allows you to remove the items that you already have in the kitchen.
- gives you the option to buy online through a number of local stores with pick-up or drop-off options.
You really couldn’t make meal planning any easier. You can literally plan your meals and shop for groceries in five minutes.
Food Allergies, Preferences, & Specific Ways of Eating
Many people who have food allergies, strong preferences, or specific ways of eating feel like these services aren’t for them. Mealime has taken all of this into consideration, allowing you to mark ingredients you don’t want to use and choose some popular ways of eating.
- Allergens - Mealime provides the option to mark any of the top 12 allergens. Then they filter out recipes containing these allergens. (For severe allergies please double-check everything before consuming.)
- Preferences - There is a section to mark food preferences from a long list of ingredients you may not like. Mealime will keep that in mind while choosing recipe suggestions.
- Specific ways of eating - You may choose a specific way of eating such as Paleo, vegetarian, low-carb, keto, etc. (I like to eat real food at least 80% of the time. I’ve found choosing the Paleo option helps me get to this goal by focusing on simple real foods.)
Tips & Tricks
- Share one account with your spouse, so either of you can shop or start cooking when the other isn’t there.
- The app is most easily used on a mobile device.
- Let family members help choose the meals. I let each of my kids pick one meal a week and then they help me cook it.
- Pick the number of servings based on the number of people you are feeding and how much leftovers you would like.
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The weather is warming up and it will soon be summer. After a hard Chicago winter, many people are ready to embrace all the summer has to offer. In the process of enjoying the activities that go with summer, we can find ourselves super busy.
Whether work is in full swing or the kids are home from school (or both), it’s important to take time for yourself. It doesn’t have to take long or cost a lot of money. Some self-care techniques only take five minutes and are completely free.
While it’s nice to take vacations, the little things may be more practical. They can support you in the day-to-day, allowing you to be present for each special moment of the summer.
Let’s look at some tips for taking care of yourself this summer!
Social Connection
Summer is a great time to connect with those that bring you life. Meaningful social connections impact your mental and physical health in positive ways, leading to parasympathetic nervous system activation. This is often referred to as co-regulation of the nervous system, and it puts you in a rest and digest state of being.
So, connect with friends and family...
- in person if you live close.
- with a video call so you can be face-to-face.
- through a phone call.
- by email or text.
Don’t forget the people in your home. Having a meal together, playing a quick game, reading a chapter of a book together, or going for a walk in the evening can be a great way to connect.
Healthy Boundaries
While you enjoy connections with friends, it is easy to simply go along with what others ask of you. But it is important to consider what is best for you. Accepting every invitation or request can leave you with little margin; overscheduled and overwhelmed. It can also lead to resentment.
It is important to consider what you are willing to give; financially, physically, and even emotionally. After doing so, many of us will find that we need to learn how to say “no” to others without feeling guilty.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is good for our brains. It activates the hypothalamus and floods our brains with the feel-good hormone dopamine. It also decreases the prominent stress hormone cortisol, decreases blood pressure, and increases heart rate variability.
By placing our attention on things that bring us pleasure we can cultivate gratitude in an authentic way.
For more ideas on gratitude check out Creating a Gratitude Practice.
Mindful Grounding Techniques
We can tend to live in the past or in the future, but a key to enjoying life is to live in the moment. Grounding is simply bringing your awareness to the present moment. This is done through awareness of your body and surroundings.
Simply closing your eyes and paying attention to your breath brings you back to the present moment. Intentionally looking at things in your surroundings or noticing sensory input can be effective as well. The key is the intention and awareness of the action.
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