Look at your calendar and think about your typical day. How much time do you spend on the activities associated with your values? How much of your day is spent on things that are not too important to you? If you notice most of your time isn't spent on your priorities, how can you change that?
The first step in making this change is becoming clear about your values. If we are not clear about what matters to us, the wishes of others can overwhelm us. We can use these values as a foundation when making decisions.
You can't do everything; there are only 24 hours in a day. It is not selfish to guard your resources, including time, energy, and money. Even considering the mental load you carry is important. Something may seem super simple, but if it is one more thing to remember, you may still benefit from declining.
Let's ask ourselves, "Does my life reflect my values?"
My Health Is a Major Priority
If I don’t have my health, I don’t have anything. Being healthy is what gives me a great quality of life. I support my health by...
- Eating nutritious food
- Moving my body
- Spending time with friends and family
- Going outside
- Sleeping well
- Reducing stress
Value-Based Schedule
Are you happy with the way you spend your time? Do you spend most of your time on things that contribute to your values or someone else's? If you consistently feel frustrated and unfulfilled at the end of the day, it may be time for a change. We know that sometimes we will have to do things that are not always fun or easy. Sometimes we need to compromise and take one for the team. But, if we continually do this while sacrificing what is important to us, there may be a problem.
Even if our schedule reflects our values, it can be hard to balance everything. Katy Bowman, author of Movement Matters, talks about stacking your life. This is when you do one task that contributes to several goals simultaneously. It is different than doing multiple tasks at the same time. It is planning your activities to fit your goals and priorities more effectively. It helps us get the most out of each hour of our day.
Stacking My Life
Stacking my life helps me use my free time to the fullest. I choose my activities in ways that support multiple values at once. This may look like...
1. Dinners
- Values: eating healthy, spending time with my family, reducing stress
- Activity: prepare healthy food together over the weekend.
- Result: this allows us time together. We have healthy meals prepared for busy nights, so we don’t grab takeout or go out to eat. It also reduces stress because we do not need to figure out a good dinner at the last minute.
2. Free time
- Values: movement, spending time with family & friends, getting outside, reducing stress
- Activities: take my girls on walks, rather than going to the gym. Take a walk with friends, rather than going out to eat.
- Results: this allows me to enjoy time outside with people while getting movement and exercise. This reduces my stress; helping me feel energized, happy, and ready for the next day.
4. Money
- Values: reduce stress (this also gives us more money to invest in our other priorities.)
- Activities: enjoying free or cheap entertainment, buying used cars, living in a house that doesn't overstretch our budget.
- Results: we have less stress surrounding money and can afford more things that align with our values. It prevents us from needing to work extra hours that would take time away from other priorities.
Making Room for Our Values
Living by your values will mean giving up some things you used to do. There are only so many hours in the day, and saying "yes" to one thing means saying "no" to another. Here are some things we have done to live more aligned with our values...
- We used to spend a lot of time watching shows in the evenings. While we still watch some, we often play with the girls instead. Weeknights are also our backup time for preparing healthy food if the weekend is too busy.
- My husband and I have noticed that it is easy to get sucked into scrolling on our phones. Now we try to put our phones away as much as possible and spend time together.
- We try not to eat out at restaurants. Eating out tends to give us less nutrient-dense food and can be more expensive.
What can you do this week to strengthen living by your values? Would the idea of "stacking your life" help?
Dr. Jamie
Some of the most cherished gifts are things you can’t wrap to put under the tree. Since most of us don’t need more material goods, I love giving experiences that make lasting memories!
One of my favorite gifts from my parents was a family membership to the DuPage Children's Museum. It was so much fun, and we thought of them every time we went there throughout the year.
When you give an experience as a gift, the key is finding something they will enjoy that fits your budget. It could be a date to a local coffee shop or something more extravagant. The cost does not matter as much as the personalized touch behind it. So, think about the person. How can your gift show them that you know and care about them?
Let’s look at some ideas for experiences your loved ones may enjoy!
Children
Experiences give the child a memory that will last far longer than any toy. Think about getting them a…
- pass or membership to the Zoo (Brookfield and Cosley Zoo are both great)
- membership to a children's museum
- ticket to a new movie (with money for popcorn of course)
- ticket to take the Metra train (into the city or to Toot Toot’s restaurant in Glen Ellyn)
- kid's manicure/pedicure
- ticket to a children’s show at a local theater (Frozen is playing at the Paramount in Aurora, IL)
- ticket to a sporting event
- couple of games of bowling (don't forget the shoe rental)
- horseback riding lesson
- series of swim lessons
Teens
Teenagers have outgrown most toys, but money feels so impersonal. A great solution is giving them an experience they would love! Perhaps they would enjoy a/an...
- ticket to a new movie (with money for popcorn of course)
- manicure/pedicure
- ticket to a show at a local theater
- ticket to a sporting event
- a Spotify credit
- craft class (pottery, macramé, etc.)
- horseback riding lesson
- music class
- escape room experience
Adults
Most adults do not need more things but would enjoy a special memory. Would the person you are shopping for like a/an...
- ticket to a sporting event
- manicure/pedicure
- ticket to a show at a local theater
- Spotify credit
- store membership (Costo, etc.)
- escape room experience
- axe throwing experience
- massage
- coupon for watching their kids
- coupon for making them dinner
- weekend away
- cooking class
- sip and paint night
- craft class (pottery, macramé, etc)
- trip away through your extra airline miles
- membership to an outdoor space (Morton Arboretum, Brookfield Zoo, etc.)
- membership to a museum (Art Museum, Field Museum, etc.)
One of the special parts of giving experiences is the personal touch. You can be creative when you think about what the person enjoys. If you can not think of an experience, you could donate to a cause that is important to them.
Dr. Jamie
World Kindness Day encourages us to show kindness to strangers, co-workers, acquaintances, loved ones, and ourselves. Twenty-eight countries celebrate the holiday which was introduced by a coalition of nations' kindness organizations in 1998.
Kindness is defined as being friendly, generous, and considerate. It is a key component of living a full and beautiful life. Being kind is the foundation for developing healthy connections with others which positively impact our mental and physical health.
Acts of kindness also release oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. This has a positive impact on your emotional and physical health as well. If you want to feel good, showing kindness is an easy place to start.
Let’s look at how you can incorporate kindness into your life today!
What Is Kindness
Kindness can be quite simple. Incorporating kindness into our lives will not take much time, money, or planning. We just need to be intentional about it. Words of encouragement, a genuine smile, or a compassionate tone can go a long way.
Sharing your kind thoughts is inexpensive and does not take much time. Everyone likes to hear things like, “You handled that situation well. It’s always nice when someone tells you that you have a great smile or that they like your shirt.
It takes no extra time to smile at someone as they walk past you on the street or say “thank you” to a service provider. Even watching your tone of voice when you are in a hurry or upset can show others kindness. These simple things can make someone’s day.
Being Kind to Others
Anita Rani says, “Kindness isn’t big, grand gestures. The small acts of kindness, they’re the important bits.” Chances are the people you feel closest to don’t do grand gestures frequently, but hopefully, they make you feel loved with the little things.
Making a pot of coffee, giving a hug before leaving, sending a quick text, or picking up a small token of love at the store are all ways to show kindness. Anything that shows someone you are thinking about them counts.
According to actor Maureen Lipman, “It’s great to do a good deed a day because you feel better about yourself, but actually the main aspect of kindness, the bit that’s difficult, is continuity. How do you be kind to someone you’re caring for.”
It is easy to take those we care about for granted. Sometimes we treat strangers better than those we care about most. Slow down and consider what you want to communicate to them through your words, tone, and actions.
Read more ...
Proper breathing is crucial to health and helps maintain spinal stability. Faulty respiration mechanics can lead to recurrent back pain, shoulder problems, poor coordination, and lower cardiovascular endurance. It can also play a major role in chronic fatigue, anxiety, and panic attacks.
Unfortunately, improper breathing is more common than correct breathing. In a pilot study of 96 people in 2003 that assessed breathing mechanics, only 25% of people were found to breathe normally. The rest were either chest breathers, lacked normal movement of the lower rib cage, or had deep clavicular grooves.
Why are we such poor breathers? If you watch a baby breathe, they pretty much universally breathe perfectly. Over time, we spend many hours sitting in chairs, slumping forward at computers, or reclining while watching a show. These unnatural positions of our spine and rib cage cause us to find alternate ways to breathe.
Additionally, many of us look at models and strive for a "flat stomach." Normal breathing involves letting the belly go outward with each inspiration. It is impossible to breathe correctly when we hold our stomachs tight (consciously or subconsciously) to make them appear flatter.
Let's check your breathing and see if some adjustments could be beneficial.
Check Your Breathing
Try these steps in different positions: laying on your back, sitting up, standing, and doing an exercise such as a side plank. Some people breathe well in some positions but struggle with others. Check to see if your breathing fits the patterns below.
1. Place one hand over your abdomen/stomach, and another over your rib cage.
- During inspiration (breathing in) your abdomen should expand outward.
- During expiration, (breathing out) your abdomen should expand inward.
- Movement should start in the abdomen; not in the chest (even with a deep breath)
- Abdominal motion should be much more pronounced than rib/chest motion.
2. Now move one hand to each side of your body over your lower ribs and upper abdomen.
- The abdomen should expand all the way around through the entire cylinder, not just the front of the abdomen moving outward.
- As inspiration continues, the lower ribs should move outward in a horizontal plane.
- With your hands on your sides, the motion should seem equal on both sides
3. Are you breathing at an equal rhythm?
- Your heart rate should be fairly steady.
4. Brace your core as though I told you someone was going to "punch you in the stomach."
- Can you still take a breath with the proper mechanics?
Read more ...
We can learn a lot about natural movement from our ancestors and children. Something common to both groups is sitting on the ground. Our earliest ancestors did not have comfy recliners or chairs at desks. They were sitting on the ground, tree stumps, and fallen logs.
Children live with modern furniture but often prefer sitting, learning, and playing on the floor. Sitting on the ground is natural; it engages our muscles and encourages our bodies to move naturally.
When you were younger sitting on the floor probably felt natural and comfortable. However, after years of sitting at work or reclining at home, it may feel a bit uncomfortable. That is okay; most people can build muscles to make it feel natural again.
Let’s look at how floor sitting could work for you.
Move Without Trying
We all know that movement is important for our health. Many people join gyms, sign up for personal trailers, take a run, or work out at home. Others struggle to make time for exercise but try to move more. These things are good, but they aren’t enough. You can be a gym rat and still be pretty sedentary the rest of the day. Sitting on the ground is a great way to move more during sedentary time.
Time-Lapse Video
A time-lapse video of sitting on the couch for two hours would be pretty boring; there would not be much movement. Sitting on the floor would involve much more movement, engaging your core muscles in ways comfy furniture does not.
Sitting or lying on the couch is so “comfortable” that you can turn off your major muscle groups. Even when in a compromised position where joints are placed in unnatural ways, the comfy cushions allow these damaging positions to go unnoticed.
However, since sitting on the ground in one position can become slightly uncomfortable, your body will shift to find another position often. This leads to more movement and muscle engagement in “sedentary” times. The video would probably resemble a stretching session.
When Should You Sit on the Floor?
Sit on the floor during your normal activities: watching a movie, playing with kids, or working on your laptop. While I may not have time to spend an extra hour stretching at the gym, I can use the time I already spend playing with my girls or watching a show.
This is better than having a perfect ergonomic that makes us comfortable enough to disengage our muscles. We tend to move and take more breaks when we are less comfortable. (Honestly, I don’t believe there is any good way to sit at a desk for hours of computer work daily.)
What Position Should You Sit In?
You don’t need to pick a position. That is the beauty of this, you don’t stay in any one position for a long time when sitting on the ground. Rather, you sit in one position and move to another when you tire.
Here is an article by one of my favorite authors, Katy Bowman. It discusses floor sitting and contains graphs showing different sitting options. She embraced the idea so thoroughly, she no longer has furniture in her house! You do not need to go to that extreme to benefit from sitting on the floor.
Read more ...
Parents love watching their babies discover the world and meet new milestones. Everyone is excited when the baby rolls over, crawls, or walks for the first time. It is great to celebrate these achievements, but it is important to allow your baby to develop at their own pace without interference.
Our society tends to push babies to develop faster than what is natural. When caregivers try to help babies reach their milestones by putting them in positions they are not ready for, it can interfere with their natural development.
Babies develop better movement patterns when allowed to move naturally at their own pace. Developing movement in the proper sequence helps them learn to move more efficiently. This sets them up for a lifetime of healthy movement patterns.
Let’s look at a baby’s natural development and ways we tend to undermine it.
Natural Development
Lindsay Mumma DC says, “Children need to get a sense of how their bodies function in a gravity environment. This helps them coordinate and activate muscles in the proper sequence to initiate complex movements.”
While they need plenty of time in their caregivers' arms, they also need time to explore movement. Having a safe place to move independently will help them learn to move most efficiently. Babies don't learn to move properly if we interfere with this process.
When we try to rush them, they miss important steps in the sequence Mumma is talking about. As their muscles develop they will be ready for more advanced movements. We can not do this for the baby, it simply takes time! Of course, there will be times when a baby does not progress as expected and may need a professional to guide their care.
Interfering
It is so normal in our society to interfere with a baby's natural movement that parents rarely think about them. Many parents try to teach their children how to roll over, sit up, or walk. This interferes with their development. Allowing them to learn independently strengthens the muscles needed and provides a solid foundation for movement. This creates healthy patterns of movement that will stay with the child throughout their lives.
Propping them up on the couch sure looks cute, but if they cannot get in the position alone, they are not ready to be in it. Even the common baby devices that put them in positions they are not ready for set them up for restricted or unnatural movement. A good thing to know is that putting a baby in a position it can’t achieve or maintain on its own, places undue stress on the baby’s musculoskeletal system.
Maybe it's time to reevaluate some of the equipment our society thinks is normal.
- Bumbo seats - they aren’t ready to be in this position for long until they are sitting up independently.
- Swings - being strapped into a reclined position prevents the natural movements needed to develop the infant's core strength.
- Exosaucers - these tend to put the baby in a bad position for their posture and interfere with their development of balance. It also encourages babies to lock their knees and stand on their tiptoes which is less than ideal.
Read more ...
