Brene Brown studied the connection between joy and gratitude. She thought the research would show that joy led to gratitude; however, it was the other way around. Gratitude actually led to joy. Other research implies that a gratitude practice can be beneficial for your physical, psychological, and social well-being.
Feelings of gratitude are good for our brains, activating the hypothalamus and flooding our brains with the feel-good hormone dopamine. Some studies have found that it decreases the prominent stress hormone cortisol and blood pressure while increasing heart rate variability.
Gratitude practices are different than having an "attitude of gratitude" or "looking on the bright side of things." For one thing, it is much more intentional than just being optimistic or thankful from time to time. It brings a little bit of structure to a concept that is so abstract.
Since it's free, does not take much time, and can be done in the privacy of your own home, it may be worth developing a gratitude practice. There are many ways to create a practice of gratitude
Let’s explore how to lean into gratefulness while honoring the hard aspects of our lives.
Finding Joy in The Little Things
When Dr. Nicole Braton’s father passed away, she decided to “find the joy in the smallest of things.” For 100 days, she intentionally looked for the little things she enjoyed. She found this practice helped her cope during the difficult season. She started encouraging others to join her in "100 Days of Gratitude."
As mindfulness coach Jill Carbone explains, “Life is strung together moment by moment. So often, we race through our days to get to the next big event, holiday, or celebration. Living a fulfilled life requires appreciating all of the moments in between, for that is where happiness truly lies.”
Simply taking a moment to recognize the little things that bring you pleasure can have a positive impact. Begin by looking for the gifts in the ordinary. Take some time to notice these little pleasures: things like a glass of ice water, your favorite food, a warm bath, hot tea, or a comfortable bed.
Recognizing the People In Our Lives
In an ideal world, we would have many friends and family connections that we are grateful for. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. During seasons of loss and loneliness, it might be difficult to find people in our lives for whom we can be thankful.
During these times, it is helpful to recognize the individuals we do interact with - the neighbor who waves to us from across the street, our mail carrier, or the person helping us at the bank.
We can also think of people who have invested in us throughout our lives, like a special teacher, kind relative, beloved neighbor, or close friend. If that proves difficult, we can take a moment to celebrate our best-loved authors, the musicians who created our favorite song, or other performers that we take delight in watching.
Experiences for Which We Are Thankful
As you look over your life, are there experiences that you are thankful for? Perhaps it’s the chance to go to college, a family vacation, or another significant event. After thinking about the big things, focus on remembering little experiences that brought you joy.
It can be something as small as the first time we went off the diving board, playing a board game with friends, walking to the park, spending time exploring a hobby, or reading a book. Every one of these moments can flood us with feelings of gratitude. Lean into the feeling for just a moment.
Gratitude When We Are Hurting
Thinking about gratefulness doesn’t seem to make sense when you are hurting. If life has been difficult recently, you may be struggling with painful emotions. Pushing these difficult emotions aside is not our goal. In fact, denying our difficult emotions can actually harm our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
It is important to allow yourself to lean into these painful emotions and accept them without judgment. Leaning into difficult emotions can actually open you up to a whole new experience. According to Brene Brown, “mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives.”
So how do we develop a gratitude practice in difficult times? Well, to start with, it must be authentic. During difficult times, we may not have much that we feel grateful for, but there are some little things that we can take a moment to notice.
By intentionally placing our attention on these small things that please us, we can authentically cultivate gratitude. We can begin to recognize the people in our lives and think about past experiences for which we are thankful.
What can you do to cultivate a practice of gratitude and lean into joy!
Dr. Jamie