In 1957, Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes tried to invent a 3-D wallpaper by sealing two plastic shower curtains together with heat. The results were disappointing, and it was a complete failure as wallpaper. Failing can lead to embarrassment and shame; however, their failure is why we have bubble wrap today.
A decade later, Spencer Silver accidentally made a weak adhesive that peeled off without leaving residue when he was trying to make a strong adhesive for the space industry. It was far from what he intended, but it was used to develop Post-it notes.
As Henry Ford said, "Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” If you embrace failure as a part of learning, you will not need to play it safe. You will be free to try innovative ideas with the potential for huge success.
It is okay to try, fail, learn, and try again. If you never fail, your goals may be too small. It might keep you from failure, but it will also limit your growth. Shifting your mindset to accept failure as a part of growth can help you keep going despite disappointment.
Let’s explore why many leaders believe that failing is a step on the path to greatness.
Fail Forward & Talk Kindly
Children fail many times while working toward new milestones. Think of a baby learning to walk. Do they master it on the first try? No, the progress is slow, and they fall over-and-over. Do children learn to roller skate easily without any challenges? Probably not. When they persevere despite failure and learn from their mistakes, they often master the skill. Winston Churchill said, "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
Enthusiasm can be seen in those around the child as well. Just think of that toddler starting to walk; a good parent says words of encouragement. They go a few feet in front of the toddler and say, "Come here" in an excited voice. No one gets mad or scolds the toddler for falling. When a child falls while learning to skate, a parent may say, "I know it's hard, but you've got this."
What if we talked with ourselves with the same compassion?
Self-Compassion
Speaking compassionately to ourselves frees us up to try things we may otherwise shy away from. Think of a child who is afraid to be mocked vs. one who knows they have people cheering them on, whatever the outcome. Which child would you want to be when trying something hard? Why not be that for yourself?
Many people treat themselves more harshly than they would speak to anyone else, especially when they don't succeed. We need to begin challenging our inner dialogue when it says harmful things we would never tell another person. It takes time to change it, but we can begin by noticing our thoughts.
Put a little space between the words and who you are as a person...
- If you find yourself thinking, "I am stupid," try changing it to, "I notice I'm thinking I am stupid."
- If you find yourself thinking "I am a failure," try changing it to "I notice I'm thinking I am a failure."
- If you find yourself thinking, "I am never going to achieve this," try changing it to "I notice I'm thinking that I will never achieve this."
Eventually, you can begin to challenge those thoughts and look for proof that negative self-talk isn't true. The goal is to follow Brené Brown's encouragement to "talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”
Are They Still Failures
Many of the most successful people were initially considered failures. Just look up the history of the Beetles, Walt Disney, and Oprah Winfrey. They didn’t give up when they were not recognized for their brilliance. And did you know that Howard Schultz was rejected for a loan 242 times before he secured the funds to start Starbucks?
I love how Thomas Edison is quoted as saying, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Each failure we have may be bringing us one step closer to something beautiful. J.M. Barrie, the author of Peter Pan, also had a unique perspective on failure, saying, "We are all failures - at least the best of us are.”
These people must have had a growth mindset that gave them the fortitude to persevere. This mindset focuses on the ability to improve and progress, rather than the limiting belief that you are born with set abilities that limit your capacity for success. If you are interested in developing a growth mindset, check out Carol S. Dweck's amazing book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success."
What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail? Embracing the possibility of failure can free you up to take chances and pursue your passions. When you realize that failure has a purpose, it will make persevering a little bit easier.
Dr. Jamie
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