Nurturing your social wellness is as important as going to the gym! Relationships and a sense of community are not just beneficial for your mental health; they are good for your physical health, too. It makes sense because those two things are strongly connected.
Most of us don’t think about how important meaningful relationships are to our health. We tend to focus on the importance of eating healthy and moving our bodies, thinking they are the most important things. But those things alone will not leave you feeling your best.
Having strong social connections has been linked to motor skill retention, cancer survival, increased immune function, memory preservation, and longevity. Social isolation, on the other hand, has been linked to increased risk for heart disease and Alzheimer’s disease.
So, what do you do if you are not a social butterfly or if your community is smaller than you would like? Let's see if we can make a plan!
People Around You
When you start your day tomorrow, notice the number of people you come into contact with throughout your day (the lady at the grocery store, the dad at the bus stop, a co-worker at the office, etc.). Is there a way you can connect with some of them?
Just smiling or striking up a short conversation can begin to create a sense of community. It doesn't have to be anything deep, but it could be. You never know how a conversation will go and the interesting people you could meet if you don't try.
Just One Call
Take a minute to think about someone in your life who you would like to get to know better. Whose picture just popped into your head?
Consider giving them a call. Just tell them you were thinking about them and wanted to check in. Then, use a question that will get more than a one-word answer; something different than a general "how are you?".
You can ask them what the best part of their day was, if they are looking forward to anything this week, or what their favorite show is right now. If you aren't ready to call, start with a text.
It is also nice to reach out to friends you haven’t spoken to in a while. Sometimes you can pick up right where you left off. You can use social media to send them a memory, but consider taking it a step further. Asking specific questions about their life can open a conversation. If there is a way to continue the conversation offline, all the better.
Put Away Technology
Unless you are making that call, consider putting away your phone and start connecting with those around you. It is hard to feel connected unless you are doing so in real life. Liking someone's post will not connect you in the way a personal conversation would.
It's easy to get lost scrolling through your phone and realize you have missed your day. And, it can be difficult to go to bed if you don't feel satisfied with your day, which could result in you staying up late on technology. This can create a cycle that keeps you more connected with your phone than others. Check in with yourself to see if that's really what you want.
Join a group.
If you feel like your social circle is lacking, join a group. Find a group centered on something you are passionate about to meet like-minded people. This could be a church, a gardening club, a card group, a fitness class, a sports team, or a volunteer group. (The library has a couple of book clubs, and you can find a variety of groups on Meetup.)
Once you join a group, make sure you participate. You will form much deeper relationships by interacting with the group consistently. Look for ways to interact that feel authentic to you, but don't be afraid to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little. Also, keep an eye out for people you may want to get to know outside of the group.
Invite a Friend for a Walk
Going for a walk with someone gets you moving and gives you a chance to get to know them. It can be easier for some people to talk when they aren't sitting face-to-face. They may feel more able to have deeper conversations when they are moving. It can even be helpful for conversations that may be difficult because going out of the house might help each person be aware of the tone and volume of their voice. Check it out and see what works best for you and those in your life.
Remember, it isn’t a contest to see who has the most friendships. How deep and meaningful those relationships are matters more than numbers. Little things can make a big difference when done intentionally.
Dr. Jamie